Tuesday Ramblings

Magnificent



My life in one word. Even when it is as insane as it has been lately.


During the week, it’s the same routine: Up at 4am. Feed Jake. Drop Jake off at his grandmas. Sit in mild morning traffic. Work at 7. Pump at 8. Work. Pump at 11:30. Work. Pump at 2:30. Leave work at 3:30. Sit in moderate to severe afternoon traffic. Pick up Jake from grandmas at 4pm. Go home. Get everything ready for next work day. Feed Jake. Play with Jake. Make dinner. Eat dinner. Play with Jake. Bathe Jake. Get self and Jake ready for bed. Feed Jake. Put Jake down. Climb into bed. Cuddle with hubby and watch some TV. Pass out between 9-10pm.


That is my typical work week day, and it’s exactly the same every day except with the occasional dinner with friends/family, errands that need to be taken care of, or some extra time awake with the hubby. As boring as it sounds, it still makes me happy as a clam.


In reality, it’s not boring at all. Each and every one of those moments all day long have little things that make every second of every day worthwhile, interesting, and so much fun. It all has to do with Jake. Sure, the average person cringes at getting up at 4am. I used to, but now I get to see my son’s smiling face. (Who the heck is happy and smiling at that time of day!?) Not only that, but I get to see how much he has changed overnight, and what new things he has developed while he slept. Whether it’s a new sound he makes, a new face, or a movement. Then I work all day long, and no matter how stressed or tired I get during the day, I know that I’m working for a good life for my family because I make money to care for them, and I get benefits to keep them healthy and happy, as well as work for retirement. When I go to pump three times per day, while it is quite tedious, I know I’m doing it for the health of my monkey and that it won’t be forever. Breastfeeding can also become repetitive and tiring, but it is some of my favorite bonding time with Jacob. He stares at me, smiles, eats, rubs his hand across my chest and through my hair, puts his fingers in my mouth. I just know that he does those things to tell me that he loves me. And I feel it SO much during those times. I also get to watch Ryan with him, and it just makes my heart soar. He’s such an amazing daddy, and Jacob loves him SO much. He laughs more for Ryan than he does for anyone. He loves to touch Ryan’s face, and hair. It just makes me fall in love all over again.


Every little moment is like this. Every moment I’m not with Jake, I’m thinking about him and wanting to be with him. I know that through and through I LIVE for this boy, and I strive to make his life the best it can be and give him everything that I never had but always wanted.


These are the things that make my life magnificent.